Tuesday, June 23, 2009

my soundtrack of the day

What day is it today? i can't remember
i'm still lazying around at home. browsing. watching. and facebooking

currently i'm listening to Tohoshinki's 'Stand by You' song.
and it just match my current feeling right now!!! my current condition. bleh~~~
here it is..

cre: chocojournal @youtube

the english translation:

Stand By You - Tohoshinki

Since the day you left without a word of goodbye
I feel that the scenery around me has changed.
The promise I made
that I would become your everything
and the incomplete memories
have also changed.

When you were crying by yourself back then,
if only had I run to you
you would still be by my side.
If I was given one more chance,
I would tell you once again
that I love you.
But the words that contain my overflowing feelings
cannot reach you anymore.

Where are you now?
Who are you being with?
What kind of clothes are you wearing?
What are doing and laughing at?
I am right here.
Even now, I am right here.
And I still believe that we will see each other again.
You're the only one I'm thinking of.

Just once more,
I want you to stand at my back with your tied hair
asking me "Guess who it is~~~"
and expecting me to say out your name.*
Just the two of us being silly like that day by day.

I can't forget you,
But the truth is, I don't want to forget you.
I can't feel even a bit of happiness
because you're not by my side.
No matter how hard I try,
I'll end up crying
and my tears just won't stop.

Where are you now?
Who are you being with?
What kind of clothes are you wearing?
What are doing and laughing at?
I am right here.
Even now, I am right here.
I still believe that we will see each other again.
You're the only one I'm thinking of.

Therefore, I am right here
singing the song by myself.
Even though I don't have any reason to embrace this pain anymore,
I can't help doing it.

Even if I know that the days
when you were by my side making my world shine
won't come back again,
and no matter what will happen,
no matter how far I'm lost,
I never ever want to forget that my heart has chosen to love you.

No matter where you are,
no matter who you are being with,
no matter what kind of dream you are dreaming of,
or what you are doing and laughing at,
I will be here forever.
Even now, I right am here,
believing in a day that we will meet again.

This feeling won't change,
and you are the only one I'm thinking of.
This feeling won't change,
and you are the only one I'm thinking of.

credits: linhkawaii @LJ + tvxqfever.blogspot + dbskarchives.blogspot

Monday, June 22, 2009

Hi-C stands for Hip-Chic!

During holiday, i gathered with my high school friends a lot.

we went shopping, watching movie, photo taking, driving around town, gossiping, eating, and hang out at a cafe and just chill around.

(left to right) Astri, Alfie, Me, Uni, Rieska, Kiki
we're here to plan the photo taking. Yes, we luv photography (but only with us as the models) LOL

(left to right) Tirta, Alfie, Uni, Me, Qbond
Qbond will be going outside town. we hang out to cheer her up for her school project there.

here's the photo taking. these are not the professional ones. they were taking by my friend's sister.
the professional results will be posted once i got them

left to right:
Dinie, Rieska, Me, Uni, Ama, Qbond, Alfi, Astri, Ayu Ning, Tirta, Kiki
location: Makassar, Indonesia

We're Hi-C!!! abbreviation of Hip-Chic
my high school clique ^o^

there're 11 members (sorted by alphabetic)
Neong (Me)

I also hang out with my high school buddies: Rendra, Aldy, and my secondary school friends. *will be updating with pics soon when the pics in my hand*

Holiday, I got a confession!

My school holiday is over. but the memories left behind is still in my head.
I went back to my hometown during school holiday.
it was so fun, yet heartbreaking at the same time.

I went back, gathering with my family, friends, and all my lovely peeps.
there are so many things happened. okay, let me reveal my secrets here.
something that my family don't know, which i feel sorry about.

I got a crush (again) with my ex. The only ex-boyfriend that left a deep foot print in my heart (LOL...what a cheezy line)
okay, the thing is, he already got a girlfriend. no. it's a fiance

whatever, i don't care. as long as he's not married yet, there's no boundary between us, and i can still talk to him.

i got a confessions to make. we kissed. we hugged. we say love to each other.

but it hurts. because he still loves me, but he also loves her. he has this 'up & down, hot & cold' attitude. Sometimes it's okay if i come next to him, but sometimes he declare that he's already someone else's, and i'll get a better guy than him.

I can feel that he keep a distance with me. after they exchange rings.

there are may times i have to holding back my tears, especially when he calls that girl (that girl live in another city. she's a flight attendant), that girls' families. and he without hesistation talking freely in front of me!!! without any considerations of how i feel.

when it was my birthday, 26th May, he didn't say any birthday greetings. He said, that girl knows my birth day, and she made him promise her that he won't say, text, or any form of congratulatory on my birthday!!! how mean!!!

when it was his birthday, 30th May, she came for 2 days, and i can't see him. and i can't celebrate his birthday.

I felt so lifeless

He was my high school boyfriend. I was with him for almost 4 years (with break up and make up). I broke up because I left for Singapore. somehow i feel boredom, and yeah, i kinda left him because we had a big fight and i have this strong reason why i wanted to break up with him.

That girl was a friend of him who he talked to when i let him down.

before going back from Singapore, I called him. I miss him. then he announced that he's gotta engaged. I cried to him (i know it's not my right to complained), but he said apologies. and he said he wanted to see me. I ask him to pick me up at the airport, he agreed.

the next day, i called him. i miss him. i can't wait to see him again, and i know i ruined my exams because i can't stop crying all night because his stupid girlfriend picked up my call, and i have to talk to him awkwardly and said 'u don't need to pick me up' (shoot!!! why does this happen! and at this time!??!!)~and his GF doesn't know our dialect, so he told her a lie about what i've been talking about (she turned on his phone loudspeaker).
i dunno whether i should feel sorry about that girl or juz ignore her. She send me messages from his facebook account not to disturb him anymore. again, i don't care.

i dunno where this thingy leads to, but i will just continue. Let the time lapse and show the result.

I'm in love with my own sins
i don't care what other people say. but i know i have to end this at some point of time.
in the end, i never see him anymore since the day he told me to accept the reality that he belongs to somebody.

I'm glad that he said that, showing that he won't easily playing with 2 hearts at the same time.
of course, it's hurt. but i know, i don't wanna be treated like that girl.
I put my feet on that girl's shoes. if i have a boyfriend, i don't want him to be like that.

I should sincerely let him go, eventhough i know it's not easy.
I dunno, whatever meant to be, will be.
so, I dun hella care!!!